Fool's Fountain
by AgentSilverchase
Summary: Wilde and Wolfard settle their mounting rivalry in Clawhauser's little game. A fox and a wolf race to claim the Mad King's throne. For Thematic Thursday 43: Sword and Sorcery. (This is my first and only story on this site. Find me on AO3 under the same name.)
1. Water Cooler

Nick stood on his toes to flip the spout on the water cooler. As his mug filled with water, he heard the break room door open. He turned to see who was entering, and smirked.

"Wolfard."

Wolfard narrowed his eyes at him. "Wilde." He set his cup of coffee on a nearby table.

"Here to reclaim your title as prince of poker, Wolfy? Last week to break my three-week streak," asked Nick, leaning against the water cooler, paw on the ledge where his mug rested.

"Heh!" Amused, Wolfard fired back with his own quip. "Don't forget who's leading in the office poker league, 12 points to 10. Take a knee."

Clawhauser sat at the adjacent table, silently observing the exchange with wide eyes. He was surprised (and somewhat scared) at how quickly the rivalry between these two had intensified. Since his debut in the poker league, Wilde was one of the few mammals at Wolfard's poker nights who could consistently give him a run for his money. Refusing to let some arrogant rookie challenge his dominance, though, Wolfard would often goad him into overconfidently playing bad paws and could sometimes manage to steal the game this way.

It must have ignited a competitive spark in the two of them, as their rivalry soon spread beyond poker. Wolfard managed to issue the fourth largest amount of parking tickets in a single day, but Nick got third a day later. At last month's charity baseball game, they tunnel-visioned on getting the other out; Nick got more on Wolfard, but Wolfard's team won. Last week at roll call, Hopps facetiously suggested they play pattycake to cool down, but even that got serious. (She learned that it was possible to lose at pattycake.)

Nick raised an index digit at Wolfard. "Well, Mister Arm Wres—" He paused upon feeling water splash on his other paw and looked over at it. His mug overflowing, he reached up to flip the spout again, before continuing, "…Mister Arm Wrestling Champion, _this_ rising star needs league points, not knees. Leave the thinking game to the intelligent mammals." Nick bowed mockingly, putting his paw on his belly and leaving a wet spot on his uniform.

Wolfard took a sip from his paper cup. "So, you think you—"

"Guys, guys!" Hearing their verbal shootout gave Clawhauser an idea. "I know how to settle this once and for all!" Surprised, the other two turned to stare at him, having been completely unaware that he was there. The cheetah grinned brightly. "Most of the others are busy on the last night of poker league, so why don't we play something completely different? Y'know, something fresh. Something neither of you are familiar with. We'll see which of you can rank higher on an even playing field." This was sounding like a better and better idea the more he explained it. "Hey, maybe even Hopps would want to come now! Her 'I don't play poker' excuse wouldn't work!"

The wolf and the fox looked at each other and froze for a moment, both rolling the idea around in their skulls. Clawhauser giggled internally at how silly they looked, glaring at each other wide-eyed. Finally, they slowly turned their heads back towards him.

"This wolf does not back down from a fair fight," Wolfard growled deliberately, cup still raised to his lips. "I'll win whatever you throw at me, Claw."

"This fox thinks that would be hilarious," said Nick, mimicking Wolfard, paw still dripping on his shirt. "A new challenge? Sign me up. What's your plan?"

Clawhauser giggled externally. Wolfard and Wilde were both on board! They had no clue how deep he was leading them. He explained the game they would be playing, and told them what things they would need to prepare. He shared with them some rules and other resources to know for game night, and made a mental note to ask Hopps later about joining.

He looked forward to poker—uh, game night at Wolfard's.


	2. Fool's Fountain

_Clawhauser, Judy, Wolfard, and Nick all sat—stood, really, for Judy and Nick—around what would normally be the poker table at Wolfard's house. Scattered all over were various sheets, dice, and figurines. Their game had been going smoothly, thanks to a bit of help from Gamemaster Clawhauser early on, but now they could all sense that the game would soon come to a close. It was a neck and neck race between Judy, Wolfard, and Nick to claim victory._

 _After a brief pause as Judy ended her turn, Clawhauser looked up from his corner of the table. "Alright, Wolfard. You've made it to a clearing. Looking ahead, you can see the southern gates of the King's palace. You also notice there's a trap on the way."_

 _Wolfard reached to the middle of the table to draw two cards. "Hm," hummed Wolfard, considering his choices. That trap and his new cards didn't significantly change his strategy. Decision made, he declared, "Then I'll walk straight north and try to make it through the gates."_

" _Even though the trap is in the way?" questioned Clawhauser, wanting to confirm the wolf's risky play._

" _I am the Wolf Clan Prince," he replied confidently. Giving Clawhauser a stern look, he said, "That trap will make way for_ me _." This was it. After having spent half the game travelling between quests and fighting off imaginary monsters, Wolfard finally made it to the southern end of the palace._

Thane finally made it to the southern gates of the Mad King's palace. His armour, tinted a deep Wolf Clan blue, glinted brightly in the daylight. He saw the pristine white stone walls of the palace rise up before him, its construction surely "donated" by the Rabbit Clan to ensure their continued position of power over the Kingdom of Armello. Beyond the gates was Fool's Fountain, but the wolf knew that it and the King's Guards at the gates would only be one of the many obstacles to his entry into the Mad King's throne room.

This would be his chance to prove to the Clan Alpha that he truly deserved his rank as Prince of the Wolf Clan. With both paws, he inspected one of the Spirit Stones he had collected during his quest to take the throne. The egg-shaped stone relic glowed a pale blue, humming with a primal healing essence. The Rot, a withering magic thought for centuries to have been merely a myth, had lied dormant under Armello all along, and only these Spirit Stones could excise it permanently from the kingdom and the throne.

Putting away the stone, Thane sighed and began approaching the palace walls. "Walk in, banish the King. Easier said tha—"

"Wow. Who let the pup out of the Wolf Clan playground?" A smug female voice, dripping with condescension, cut him off. He directed a murderous glare behind him and to his left. He recognized that voice.

" _Scarlet,_ " Thane snarled deeply. This vixen—who supposedly became Bandit King by simply talking her way to the top—was the last animal he wanted to encounter on his way to the throne. She was unarmed, and the scabbard for her sabre, which normally never left her hip, was missing. She was up to something.

Smirking, Scarlet crossed her arms and raised her chin in contempt. "How ungrateful. I come to offer help and this is how I'm welcomed? Do wolves treat each other like this?"

He growled lightly. "What assistance could you _possibly_ give me that could be even _slightly_ useful?" Thane laid a paw on the hilt of his sword, anticipating an ambush from one of Scarlet's gangs.

"A warning and a gift."

Thane pulled his sword slightly out of its sheath, silently waiting for Scarlet to continue speaking. His patience was slipping.

Scarlet chuckled at the not-so-subtle threat. She went on. "The Mad King's going to die of his Rot illness in just a few nights. When he does, the crown'll fall directly into the lap of whoever the King's Court likes the most. And it won't be you.

"It'll be _Amber_ ," she spat out melodramatically. "Ever since the Rot first emerged a few weeks ago, she's been dressing herself up as the most fit to be the successor. Now, she holds the whole court in her paw." Maintaining constant eye contact with her, Thane failed to notice Scarlet's slow steps towards him.

His expression softened slightly, hesitation inserting itself into his plans to take the throne by force. "If you hate her so much, why don't you stop her yourself?" he asked. "I don't need to wait for the Mad King to die."

"If you enter the palace now, she can practically call half of Armello to jump on you and flatten you," explained Scarlet. "As long as Amber's aiming for the crown, she'll pull every string to prevent anyone from even trying to challenge her. But I have an elegant solution to your problem, generously funded by precious Wolf Clan gold."

Scarlet held to Thane's face a small card she pulled from her left pocket, its red border surrounding a picture that shocked Thane. The image moved, swayed, and breathed as if a moment in time were captured in it. Depicted in the card was _him_ , back facing the viewer, speaking with a menacing, halberd-wielding badger in the corner of a dimly lit room. How did Scarlet acquire such a card?

"A couple of days ago, this mercenary—that's him in the picture—received an authentic letter signed by the Wolf Clan Prince himself. The Prince offered a very large amount of Wolf gold in exchange for a very large favour," she detailed to Thane. "I helped inscribe the deed into a card, so now, he's bound to the Prince's will.

"He owes you a murder."

She shoved the card into Thane's paws, then reached into her right pocket and also pawed him a small stamp. He immediately recognized the insignia on the bottom. "A Wolf Clan wax stamp. Where did you get this?"

"From Prince Thane himself, of course," replied Scarlet, with mock confusion on her face. "Someone needed to seal that letter and inscribe that card. I recommend you redeem it for Amber. Your friend's waiting at Dunn Four tavern, in Oakhaven." She turned around and started to walk away.

Truly, Scarlet was and has always been a persistently bothersome pain for Thane. She and her bandits had an uncanny tendency to appear at inconvenient times and disrupt the Clan's plans. He looked up from the card and stamp in his paws, at the back of Scarlet's head. "Why don't I point this card at you, then? You've caused more problems for me than some professional socialite."

Scarlet stopped and turned her head to glance at Thane, and asked, "Would you seriously rather have your petty revenge over your chance to become King? That 'professional socialite' is the largest obstacle between you and your throne." She waved him off and continued walking away. "You go get your selfish tail a crown. I'm off to save Sprucevale, because someone has to kick those Banes back into the dungeons they emerged from."

Thane looked down at the card in his paw again. This new card could significantly change his strategy.


	3. Chapters 3-6, and a word from me

_Agent Silverchase here. I originally made this for Thematic Thursday 43: Sword and Sorcery. When the theme was first announced, I only intended to write one or two chapters worth of content. As I developed my outline for this story, though, it grew into six chapters. I spent so much time filling in my outline that I only managed to write two out of the six chapters I had planned by the deadline. I don't feel like writing out the remaining chapters for various reasons, but I do at least want to conclude this story, so here's a summary of what happens next._

 **Chapter 3: Washbasin**

Wolfard and Judy argue with Nick over whether it's possible to give away your own items. Clawhauser reluctantly backs up Nick, saying that no rules ban this. Nick accidentally calls Judy "Amber." No one notices. It seems like they're all taking the game very seriously.

In-game, Scarlet falls slightly ill from her fight with a Rot monster, coughing up blood into the tavern sink. She considers her next move, having bought herself more time by distracting Thane. A rabbit informant approaches her and shows her a map of the Rabbit Clan's secret tunnels into the palace.

 **Chapter 4: Fountain Square**

Wolfard considers using his card. As Judy's turn begins, Nick gives her a subtle sideways glance. Judy confidently proceeds with her turn, knowing that she'll continue holding the lead as long as Wolfard and Nick waste time squabbling.

In-game, Amber organizes a lunar eclipse celebration to garner support for her eventual monarchy. The badger that Thane "hired" and Scarlet's rabbit accomplice are both present. As the town square goes dark, someone stabs her and shoves her into the fountain behind her. It's not clear if it was the badger or the rabbit who killed her.

 **Chapter 5: Past Fool's Fountain**

Judy is shocked and outraged. The stares between Wolfard and Nick get more intense. As usual, they're getting really carried away with the game.

Thane finally slips into the palace and searches for the throne room. As he roams the halls, he sees unconscious guards tied together back to back. Hearing a ruckus, he runs over to witness Scarlet dealing a killing blow to the King. He didn't expect her to be in the palace.

 **Chapter 6: Watery Throne**

Nick wins! He improvises a melodramatic speech as Scarlet. He reveals his ruse and explains how Judy's character was assassinated.

The next day, word spreads around the station that Nick won. As a surprise, the larger officers pick him up and sit him on top of the water cooler, drop a paper crown on his head, and generally embarrass him. Maybe fantasy games aren't for him. Nick wants poker nights back.

 _Looking back on what I planned out, the ending isn't very satisfying and the in-game segments aren't well integrated with the main story. Armello was the first thing I thought of when the TT theme was announced, but keeping the story fully within Zootopia may have been a better idea. I should also rethink the scale of the stories I can feasibly write with just a week of time._


End file.
